Moving to Austin

If the apartment accepts our application, which might be a pain because I haven't worked in a while, then I am moving to Austin. Wish me luck. More later.

Q&A With Ben Bernanke

Facebook isn't all fluff, Paul. ;-) Found this there today. If you want to ask Ben Bernanke a question about the federal reserve, here's your chance:

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/insider/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=social+media&utm_campaign=PBS+Fan+page

Man, I haven't Posted in a While

Not much happening here. I'm thinking of moving to Austin again. Want to be around my nieces more often and away from my dad.

He and I aren't fighting at the moment, but there's always too much friction between us. Plus, as my mom points out, the State archives are in Austin, and I could in fact advertise on their bulletin board that I can read Kurrentschrift. People with German ancestors might be willing to hire me to transcribe their documents. Actually I could translate them too.

Looks like their autosave thingy just burped and deleted some of my text. Oh well.

I was just saying that I have also written a poem in the last month:

Self Sufficiency by Sheryl Zettner

As soon as you brag of your own self reliance,
There's total defiance from every appliance.
The pencils are breaking; the stove's overbaking;
The flash doesn't go on the pictures you're taking.
Along with the pencils, the cracks in the stencils,
The dishwasher spots on the kitchen utensils,
There's problems in traffic if you're a commuter.
You lose all your files on your laptop computer.
The car's over-heating, you're late for your meeting
Because you got ptomaine from things you were eating.
You get the wrong change from the drug store attendent,
But that doesn't matter 'cause you're independent!!!

Anyway, so yeah, I've been a no good bum about not posting here, but I've been recuperating for the past year over a hurt. Fortunately the medication I am taking is working, however, and I am not so sad as I was when I posted here last.

But I am starting to care about things like politics again and occasionally writing poetry like above, so things aren't so bad.

Hugs everyone!

Sheryl

An Activist Song

This is a german song by the band Die Ärzte about the importance of being an activist. It's pretty thrashy, but you guys might like it. I sort of loosely translated it:



Let me see if I can loosely translate it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6NqBFDphm0

Deine Schuld (Your Fault)

Hast du dich heute schon geärgert, war es heute wieder schlimm?
(Have you already been angry again today about what's wrong?)
Hast du dich wieder gefragt, warum kein Mensch was unternimmt?
(Have you asked again why no one is doing anything about it?)
Du musst nicht akzeptieren, was dir überhaupt nicht passt
(You must not accept what's unacceptable to you)
Wenn du deinen Kopf nicht nur zum Tragen einer Mütze hast (uohoho)
(If your head is bearing more than a cap)

Chorus:
Es ist nicht deine Schuld, dass die Welt ist, wie sie ist
(It's not your fault that the world's the way it is)
Es wär nur deine Schuld, wenn sie so bleibt
(It will only be your fault if it remains that way)
Es ist nicht deine Schuld, dass die Welt ist, wie sie ist
(It's not your fault that the world's the way it is)
Es wär nur deine Schuld, wenn sie so bleibt, wenn sie so bleibt
(It will only be your fault if it remains that way)


Glaub keinem, der dir sagt, dass du nichts verändern kannst
(Don't believe anyone who says you can't change things)
Die, die das behaupten, haben nur vor Veränderung Angst
(Those who argue that are just afraid of change)
Es sind dieselben, die erklären, es sei gut so, wie es ist
(It's the same ones, which explains why things are so good the way they are)
Und wenn du etwas ändern willst, dann bist du automatisch Terrorist
(And if you want want to change something then you're automatically a terrorist)


Es ist nicht deine Schuld, dass die Welt ist, wie sie ist
(It's not your fault that the world's the way it is)
Es wär nur deine Schuld, wenn sie so bleibt
(It will only be your fault if it remains that way)
Es ist nicht deine Schuld, dass die Welt ist, wie sie ist
(It's not your fault that the world's the way it is)
Es wär nur deine Schuld, wenn sie so bleibt, wenn sie so bleibt
(It will only be your fault if it remains that way)
Weil jeder, der die Welt nicht ändern will
(Because everyone who doesn't want to change the world)
Ihr Todesurteil unterschreibt
(Is underwriting their death sentence.)


"Lass uns diskutieren, denn in unserem schönen Land
Let's start discussing this because theoretically at least
Sind zumindest theoretisch alle furchtbar tolerant
we don't want to stir things up with terribly tolerant words
Worte wollen nichts bewegen, Worte tun niemandem weh
Words don't do anyone harm. Therefore, let's discuss this.
Darum lass uns drüber reden, Diskussionen sind ok"
Discussion is ok.


Nein - geh mal wieder auf die Straße, geh mal wieder demonstrieren
(No, go again to the streets, go again and demonstrate)
Denn wer nicht mehr versucht zu kämpfen, kann nur verlieren!
(Because those who no longer try to fight can only lose)
Die dich verarschen, die hast du selbst gewählt
(You kid yourself who have chosen yourself)
Darum lass sie deine Stimme hören, weil jede Stimme zählt (uohoho)
Therefore let them hear your voice because every voice counts.

Es ist nicht deine Schuld, dass die Welt ist, wie sie ist
(It's not your fault that the world's the way it is)
Es wär nur deine Schuld, wenn sie so bleibt
(It will only be your fault if it remains that way)
Es ist nicht deine Schuld, dass die Welt ist, wie sie ist
(It's not your fault that the world's the way it is)
Es wär nur deine Schuld, wenn sie so bleibt, wenn sie so bleibt
(It will only be your fault if it remains that way)
Es ist nicht deine Schuld, dass die Welt ist, wie sie ist
(It's not your fault that the world's the way it is)
Es wär nur deine Schuld, wenn sie so bleibt
(It will only be your fault if it remains that way)

Dance Music Playlist

I'm making a dance mix on youtube, so I can get exercise with bouncy music.

I am open to suggestions that would fit with the styles of music I have already included if anyone can recommend some go new wave/synth pop songs I might like. Thanks!

Here's what I have so far:

Icicle Works- Whisper To A Scream
Naked Eyes - Always Something There To Remind Me
Chumbawamba - Bella Ciao
Chumbawamba - Jacobs Ladder
New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle
New Order - Blue Monday
New Order - True Faith
Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen
Bruce Springsteen - Dancing In The Dark
After The Fire - Der Kommissar
Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me
Depeche Mode- Enjoy The Silence
Alphaville - Forever Young (Dance Version)
Anything Box - Living in Oblivion
Yazoo - Nobody's Diary
Erasure - Oh L'Amour
Tears for Fears - Shout
Yes - Owner Of A Lonely Heart
Men Without Hats - Pop Goes The World
Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance
A-Ha - Take Me On
Roxette - The Look
Spandau Ballet - To Cut A Long Story Short
Information Society - What's On Your Mind
Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round
ATC - Around The World
Haifa Wehbe - Ya Hayat Albi
Divokej Bill - Znamení
Savage Garden - I Want You
Men At Work - Who Can It Be Now
Hoodoo Gurus - Leilani
Abba - Take A Chance On Me
The Lightning Seeds - Pure
The Lightning Seeds - The Life Of Riley
Midnight Oil - Beds are Burning
Peter Schilling - The Different Story
Chumbawamba - Tubthumping
The Cure-Friday I'm In Love
Pet Shop Boys - Heart
A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran
Blondie - Maria
Men At Work - Down Under
Rick Springfield- Jessie's Girl
Аквариум -Беспечный русский бродяга
4:58 Oct 30, 2008 9,705 5.0
Аквариум -Беспечный русский бродяга
Jefferson Starship - We Built This City
Rick James - Super Freak
Eddy Grant - Electric Avenue
Devo - Whip It
Limahl - Neverending Story (Dance Version)
Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams
Modern English- I Melt With You
Madonna - Love Profusion
No Mercy - Where Do You Go
When in Rome - The Promise

German Fortune Cookie Site

I was looking at the german fortune cookie site again for inspiration. Not sure I translated these all correctly, but here's what I came up with.

I like their fortunes better than the ones I see on the English fortune cookie sites. They are more interesting to think about because they draw from German philosophy.

I mean, they aren't all interesting, but a number of them are.


Wer nicht kann, wie er will, muß wollen, wie er kann.

If you can’t have what you want, then you should want what you can have.

Was hilft laufen, wenn man nicht auf dem rechten Weg ist?

What good is running if you are not going the right direction?

Bei gleicher Umgebung lebt doch jeder in einer anderen Welt. -Arthur Schopenhauer-

Even in the same environment, we each live in our own world.

Auf einen bösen Tag gehört ein guter Abend.

To every bad day, there’s a good evening.

Haben ist haben; aber kriegen, das ist die Kunst!

Having is having. But the art is in catching!

Nur Richtung ist Realität, das Ziel ist immer eine Fiktion, auch das erreichte - und dieses oft ganz besonders. -Arthur Schnitzler-

Only direction is reality. The goal is always fiction, as is accomplishment--and that is often especially true.

Bei gutem Glücke verlieren wir uns, bei Unglücke finden wir uns wieder.

In good luck, we lose ourselves. In bad luck, we find ourselves again.

Was soll Geld, das nicht wandert durch die Welt?

What good is money that does not travel through the world?

Der Wahn siegt öfter als man denkt, weil Wahnsinn keine Rücksicht kennt.

Delusion triumphs more than you’d think because insanity shows no consideration.

Wer nie Neues ins Auge fasst, alsbald das Alte hasst.

He who never considers what’s new soon hates the old.
[Note: I guess this means if you can't deal with the present, it quickly sours the past]

Wünsche gehen oft erst dann in Erfüllung, wenn man sie schon vergessen hat.

Wishes often don’t come true till you’ve already forgotten them.

Wenn dir ein Vorhaben zu schwierig erscheint, denk nicht dran, dass es schwierig ist und tu es trotzdem.

If a project appears too difficult to you, don’t think about the fact it is difficult and do it anyway.

Das Sterbliche wankt in seinen Grundfesten, aber das Unsterbliche fängt heller zu leuchten an und erkennt sich selbst. -Novalis-

The non-eternal falters in its foundation, but the eternal begins to glow brighter and reveals itself on its own.

[Note: I guess this means that which can't last won't last, but that which can last will last and grow stronger. Sort of a truism, but a healthy reminder nonetheless.]

Siehst du einen Riesen, achte auf den Stand der Sonne, ob es nicht der Schatten eines Zwerges ist. -Novalis-

If you see a giant, pay attention to the position of the sun to make sure it is not the shadow of a midget.

[Note: I rather like that one.]

Wenn das Glück anklopft, soll man ihm aufmachen.

When luck knocks, one should open the door for it.

Ideen sind Vorschläge des Schicksals.

Ideas are suggestions of destiny.

[Note: I like this one too.]

Greatest Nation and Modesty

I've been hearing some people saying how America is the "greatest" nation in the world. I was just wondering what difference that makes, even if it is/were true.

Even if you are the best, you can still be better. And even if you are the best, modesty is still more virtuous than arrogance. Even if you are the best, acknowledging other nations virtues is a better way to make allies than flaunting your own.

Plus I would think that being the best would be relative to whatever is being measured. Clearly we are not the best on affordable health care, for example. And probably are the best in other areas.

I felt proud to be an American today as we had a smooth transition of power from someone who I think has been leading our nation astray from the values I cherish to someone who I think composes himself with considerably more dignity and to higher ideals. I think that gives our nation more credibility in the world, and I am glad for that.

But as far as whether our nation is #1 now and Nation X is #2; that seems like a pointless distinction to me. The important thing is not whether we are the best nation in the world. The important thing is whether we are putting our best foot forward.

And considering the mess that Obama just inherited, it seems like wishing we are the best is more about denial than progress anyway.

I think we should assume that we have fallen to the position of #2 or #3 in the world and use that as a motivation to be better. Maybe #4 or 5. Who cares? It isn't a high school pep rally.

Anyway, that's just how I see it. I'm not trying to piss anyone off. I just honesty don't understand why this is something Americans are so hung up about believing. World power isn't really some competition. Every nation strives to have the best standard of living they can. Either they make the most of their resources or they squander them.

I'm happy about this transition because I feel the government (in particular the previous administration) was in fact squandering our resources. Now I am hopeful that the new administration will use them efficiently. I don't think any nation can do better than that, and every nation that makes the most of what it's got is the best.

Whitehouse.gov

Sign Up for email updates:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/welcome/

Much As I Like Obama...

...it's the idea of being rid of Bush and Cheney that really has me dancing in the street! Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully I won't get run over.

Now's the Time to Post This Pic Again

I imagine everyone talk to here remembers the story of how Damien came to make this pic for me, but I figured now was the time to post it again:




In answer to Snave's recent post, we have to pursue justice if it is to mean anything.

Pondering Weakness and Strength

I was thinking.

There are some people who if you admit a weakness to the person will turn around and use that as an excuse to tell you how they are strong in whatever area you are discussing. What they would have done in your shoes. As in, you dumb fool; if you had been more like me, you would never have ended up the pathetic wretch you are.

Then there are some people who will admit their own weaknesses, but then turn around and explain how those weaknesses aren't actually weaknesses and/or are completely born of necessity. Yes, I admit I murdered the man and that was wrong, but he had it coming to him. (Usually such people are not happy unless there is someone to pin the blame on, even if it is themselves, but always making themselves allowances.)

And then there are people who genuinely face and admit to their own weaknesses and fears, but then seem genuinely puzzled when people admire them for their strength. I was talking to someone like that the other day. A lovely lady who seemed surprised when I told her how I admired her for her openness and candor.

Anyway, just documenting my thoughts. Hope you guys are all feeling strong, insofar as I don't think anyone I talk to here hides their weaknesses. That's why I feel safer here than some places. :-)

Widget For Last Year's Song

I need to sort out how to shring this for my side bar, but I think I will just save it for now. Doesn't really seem to be working right. It's supposed to be for the one song, now my whole soundclick page.

Oh well, I'll figure it out later. Yawn. It's 3:25AM, so I should be sleeping anyway. Keep being awake now.

Peace and Happiness

Let me just wish everyone peace and happiness in the New Year!!!

Much love to you!!!

Sheryl

Peace Is Good

I had a discussion with my former best friend about what happened in our friendship and why it had to end. It was infinitely more respectful than his previous two messages, and I felt good about it. Also I replied to his message, and he thanked me for my reply and wished me a Happy Christmas.

I feel so much better about it!!!

I think now I can move on. It hadn't been sitting right with me for those 6 months, but this was a respectful ending to what really had been a beautiful friendship.

I'm sorry that he felt the need to end it, but I can understand his reasons. If nothing else, he couldn't really reciprocate to the degree I would have preferred.

But today I feel pretty good, other than having caught another cold.

I'm going to go to the library and get that book Paul recommended.

Hugs all, and Happy Holidays!!!

PS Paul, I deleted that previous post because it turned out not to be true. My ex-bestfriend assured me that the girl ended up with wasn't even the one I thought he was talking about. It just goes to show that when you don't have feedback or good information sources, your mind fills in the blanks.
-----------------------------------------------------
PPS The only thing that frustrated me about my last email to Philip was there were a few points I would have liked to have made if it had solely been about setting the record straight on what happened. However, in terms of the big picture, it made more sense to just drop those things and stick to what was important. He and I have both been as honest with ourselves as is possible to still manage closure. But if I had been dumb enough to beat the dead horse, I would have mentioned X, Y, and Z as well. lol Even though he and I are both emotional, we are also both extremely clinical when it comes to dissecting things. He pointed out to me that he is self analytical, but then so am I.

Sometimes ripping things to shreds is part of the problem. You got to know when to stop and move on.

Poetry

I think I have lost my ability to write good poetry. Occasionally I have tried, but recently it's all crap.

One Of Those Days

The problem with trying to remove my correspondence off that website is that it's been stirring up lots of memories and feelings. Doesn't help that my former friend has been logged in a bunch as well. Yeah, I shouldn't look at his profile, but that is why I have to leave that site because I do.

I was just looking at a card he sent me last year that was absolutely perfect for me, and so was what he wrote in it. I shouldn't look at that either. This is called masochism.

It's also been suicide weather the last few days. Just completely overcast and foggy. Almost like London or something.

I have to remember to watch Jay Leno tonight. It cheers me up. My parents and I watch it every week night together. It reminds me some of how we used to all get together and watch Dr. Who as a family when I was kid. We're not much of a TV family, but there were certain shows that we would all huddle on the couch and watch together--Dr. Who, Remington Steele, WKRP in Cincinnati. It was good family time. Kind of like when we eat dinner together. Dinner is important social bonding in my family.

Now my friend flashed into my head again in terms of rituals you get into. We used to talk every night before he took his bath. I guess that is kind of strange thought to flit into my head, but for some reason it did. There was something nice and personal about his ending the conversation telling me it was time for his bath. I guess I am silly, but it's things like that I miss.

Everyone keeps reminding me that it is insane to dwell in the past. And I mean everyone. It would be nice if I had at least one insane friend who said, "Sheryl, love doesn't die. Just wait, and he'll eventually remember what he's missing." But then it has been over 6 months, and no one remotely rational would say that to me.

I know that I normally allow comments here, but this one I don't want to leave open. Thanks.

Making Peace Feels Nice

Since I have been dismantling my account over at OK Cupid, I thought it was about time I apologized to some girls there who I had had some conflicts with or was not kind to.

I wrote 4 ladies, and I received three gracious responses. One lady was so nice about it that she sent me her email address and offered to stay in touch. :-)

Peace is a nice thing. We have so many squabbles and indignancies over stupid things. Or at least you do on a dating site like OKC. Hypersensitivity and outrage over trivialities or even spurious reasons. And I admit that I sometimes got jealous there as well, which was stupid of me.

I'm glad I am finally leaving that website because it made me insecure, and when I am insecure, I am not the best person I can be. However, it does feel good to make peace.

I can be very stupid sometimes. I'm glad these ladies were able to accept my apology. I hope with Obama as President that our country can mend rifts as well. Peace is good.

Shoot Boots at Bush!!!

http://www.t-enterprise.co.uk/flashgame/playgame.aspx?id=bushbootcamp

Actually this one works better on my computer:
http://www.sockandawe.com/

Throwing Virtual Shoes

I'm throwing my virtual shoes in solidarity at you know who. Just watching that on the news, it's hard to believe that would be worth 8 years in jail.

I wish Bush would not do anything else as President. He should go decorate his new house in Dallas and STFU. The people have spoken and the mandate was against him.

I think there should be shoe throwing parties across the country. Kind of like pin the tail on the donkey, but where you could throw shoes at pinups of Bush.